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Tag Archives: Point & Shoot

Breaking My Heart

This Is Not A Porn Site.

Oops.

You Bitch!

Oh Dear.

A Few Drinks Later…

Feeling Fierce,

Hellbent,

Wicked As A Witch.

A Black Swan Moment.

We Don’t Give A Fuck.


Keep’em Wet.

Make’em Want It.

Sit Here and Spin.

Off!

A Real Sleeping Beauty.

Waiting For Her Prince.

It Was A Close Shave.

Saw It A Mile Away.

You’d Disappear.

Breaking My Heart.

Fix-Up.

Cosmetics Are Drugs.

A Bonafide Fag Stag,


Fell In Love with Himself.

That’s The Word On The Street.

Written in Sharpie.

Vandalized & Scandalized.

Haunted By A Ghost Writer.

Dreaming of Love in Strange Places.

Song by Chains of Love

Hanging Tough with Prince Punk

A Lonesome Hunter

LOOK!

Suicide Bride.

For $20…

No Comment.

Evidence of His Affection.

One Bad Reputation.

What’s Hiding In Your Closet?

“Not I.”

Found Happiness in a Bar.

Meh.

Asshole.

Prick.

Enough!

Arrived At Heaven’s Gate.


While Floating in Space.

Wished Upon a Fallen Star.

Vanished into A Silver Lining.

I’m Drowning.


“Drink More!”


Sheep in Wolves’ Clothing.

Hunting Little Lambs.

My Fair Lady.

Break This Spell.

With A Twinkle in His Eyes.

Private Buckaroo.

Someday…

You’ll Disappear.


Statistically Speaking.


Break Out Of Your Shell.


Lonesome Wolf.


Old New York.

song by Timber Timbre

Dinner with David

The Owner of Boca Chica

Meet David

Location: Chinatown, NY

Origin: Manhattan, NY

Occupation: Owner of two cool downtown restaurants.

Hobbies: Yoga, sculpture and the fine art of brewing coffee.

How We Met: I am a regular at one of David’s restaurants.

Interesting Facts: In addition to Boca Chica, David also owns Lupe’s East L.A. Kitchen (my favorite spot in all of NYC). And although David is old enough to be my father, he can hang like a bro.

Drinks

After two years of holler’n about Lupe’s, I finally grabbed David’s attention and cleverly used this opportunity to invite myself on a dinner date with the man behind Lupe’s, the kitschy pink diner I call my home away from home. David suggested that we share a meal at Boca Chica, his festive Latin American restaurant located in the heart of the East Village. The first thing that immediately sets Boca Chica apart from Lupe’s (besides live Latin music and dancing) is a full cocktail menu. We got to drinking straight away. Payman, bartender extraordinaire, whipped us up  several tropical concoctions (off the menu) that were all made from fresh ingredients and served with TLC. Just to jazz things up a bit, I brought along my favorite drinking accessory— fun straws! For about the first half of our cocktail hour, I gushed like a school girl about my adoration for Lupe’s (“Groupie” deduction points). But seriously, if there was an apocalypse, Lupe’s is where you would find me, rationing out the fish tacos and coco water among my beloved. David seemed touched by my sentiment.

Payman, Bartender Extraordinaire

Thumbs Up!

Savoring Every Sip

Dinner

After throwing back a few drinks, David and I were ready for our grand feast. I insisted David order for me, so he recommended we share a fresh avocado salad and the coco shrimp appetizer (which were both D-licious). Despite the fact that David is a pescatarian, he insisted that I order the Piniones—sweet plantain rings filled with seasoned ground beef—although I did feel a bit guilty not choosing something that we could share (“Greedy Little Pig” deduction points). During dinner, David and I bonded over our passion for art and art history. We gossiped about the mischief of Caravaggio, and unriddled the puns of Modern Art. Being an artist himself, David has a great appreciation for the human form which he channels through sculpture (“Bohemian” bonus points). David also painted the large panels in Boca Chica and is solely responsible for the décor at both Lupe’s and Boca Chica. I just love a man who possesses both an eye and a talent for the      visual arts.

YUM!

 Old World Humor

The Conclusion

Pros: Is a handsome Bohemian entrepreneur and is the genius behind Lupe’s.

Cons: Likes the Grateful Dead and is old enough to be my father.

David is a real bohemian whose artistic touch is equal to his keen business sensibility. His hospitality is warming, especially on a cold wintry night. Unfortunately, we stuffed ourselves silly during dinner and left no room to try any of the sweets at Boca Chica. Perhaps David and I will save room for dessert another time. Until then, I look forward to that cup of coffee David promised to make me at Lupe’s with their new espresso machine. Now that’s what I’m talking about.

Goodnight  Sleepyhead

Song by The Dandy Warhols

Thanksgiving Day 2011

Coney Island, Prince Punk, and a Bottle of Bourbon

Liberate Yourself From Tradition 

Catch A Tiger By His Toe

Need Cash?

Ladies, are you broke, single, and desperate— living paycheck to paycheck with out knowing what the next month will bring? Being a bachelorette is only cute until about 25, then it’s Spinster City. Well, never fear because you, too, can live (a woman’s version of) The American Dream. Around every corner is a handsome Prince who’s just waiting to blow his inheritance on you (in exchange for a little something on the side). It’s so easy and all it takes is a little pimping and primping. Knowing when to put out and when to hold out will serve you well, so follow my advice and you will be living vicariously through someone else’s status in no time!

Fix-Up

Never (ever) leave the house with out having your lips on and your eyebrows drawn. Red lips are a signifier of your sexual availability, so wear it well. Choose garments that flatter your best attribute. If ever in doubt, a push-up bra and low cut top will solve everything— temporarily. Tall and thin? Then try a skirt short enough to catch his eye but long enough to let him know that you mean business and will hold out until he’s sealed the deal. Dresses are also a great investment, but if you absolutely insist on wearing jeans, make sure they are well-fitted…but easy enough to remove.

Some Day My Prince Will Come

Hunting Season has officially started! Ladies let me remind you that this is a competition and there are three floozies to every one street corner on Fifth Avenue, all hunting the same game. For the best results, try lingering in front of your favorite high-end retail store looking helpless. When your potential Prince approaches close enough that you can smell his Armani cologne, this is your cue to strike hard. Give him your best bedroom eyes and reel him in with suggestive body language. Try dropping your keys— especially if you are wearing a mini skirt. Remember, it’s not prostitution if you are exchanging favors for gifts…unless the favor is anal sex…in which you are a filthy whore.

 Wild Boar Galore.

Play your card right and your new life could be overflowing with Wild Boar,  champagne cocktails, and overpriced panties! Remember, you are only as good as the man you are sleeping with, so aim high and ward away deadbeats. It’s your only hope to move up in this world (unless you go to school, educate yourself, get a job, and make your own money). Diamonds are a girls best friend because “men grow cold as girls grow old” so make sure to get that ice while you still got the goods.

My Pete Campbell Fantasy Date

Meet Giles

Location: East Village, NYC.

Origin: Stockholm, Sweden.

Occupation: Philanthropist in Training.

Hobbies: Sex, collecting airline safety instruction cards, and Crossfit

How We Met: I was introduced to Giles and six other Swedes at Carnagie Hall.

Interesting Facts: Although Giles is straight, he has made out with more guys than me. In Sweden, Giles had a sex blog and studied Swedish Massage. Oh yeah— his family also put the “Goodman” in Bergdorf Goodman.

The Date

Intrigued by my dating column, Giles asked if he too could be objectified and take me out for a night. Normally I decline date proposals, but I decided to accept his challenge because he had a Pete Campbell allure about him (“Pete Campbell” bonus points) and I too was intrigued by his online “column.” We met at the fountain in Washington Square Park and took a leisurely stroll. Giles had a full agenda lined up for the evening. Our first destination was Robataya, a festive Japanese restaurant that serves your meal on enormous wooden paddles. I was so excited about the paddles and the promise land of photo opps they would provide, until we arrived and discovered that Robataya doesn’t allow photography (“Photo Restriction” deduction points). In their defense, flashing cameras are a distraction to the sushi chefs who are working with razor-sharp knives. I politely put down my camera—and a glass of Yamazaki—but not before quickly snagging a photo of me kissing a fish.

Kiss A Fish & Make A Wish

Gilesson

Hanging Tough

Well Suited for a Dive Bar

Giles was a bit camera shy but I had just the remedy for that. After dinner we headed to Death and Company for some choice cocktails and to get a little more comfortable. Unfortunately the bar was at capacity, so we needed a plan B. I thought it would be much more fun to have a drink in a total dump since we were all suited-up, so we ducked into a dive bar and ordered mixed drinks (instead of cocktails). The medicine worked almost immediately, as alcohol has a placebo effect. Giles became noticeably more relaxed with my camera —now we were getting somewhere. Being the great story teller he is, Giles shared with me epic tales about a Great-Great Uncle who had “business” with the likes of Fidel Castro and Che Guevara and about a distant cousin who married the crown of Spain. He recounted some wild adventures in Tully, Australia, where he had to choose between a river full of crocodiles or the belligerent locals who wanted to make him and his friends “Squeal like pigs.” So Dangerous…I was captivated.

Elegantly Polishing A Mixed Drink

On The Rocks

Bottoms Up


Later That Night

Things loosened up just in time for our Grand Finale at Casa Mezcal for a little burlesque night cap. By this point we had been walking from the West Village to the East Village and all over the Lower East Side. Normally I love to go for long walks but tonight I wore heels. Giles is considerably shorter than me so I wanted to tower over him by wearing the highest heels I could bear (“Bad Shoe” deduction points). By the time we arrived at Casa Mezcal I was done…walking at least. Giles found me the best seat available so I could relax and enjoy the show and brought me some wine to help alleviate my discomfort (“Chivalry” bonus points). Casa Mezcal was having an off-night as the performers were only so-so at best, but regardless it was still quite a scene of odd balls, suits and liberated tits. The bar was a little drafty so Giles offered me his ($4K) Jacket to keep warm (“Chivalry” bonus points). It was getting late, so we finished our wine, hopped into a cab and called it a night.

Giles & The Crocodiles

Hmmm

The Conclusion

Pros: Is a great story teller, has a Pete Campbell Seductiveness, and is wealthy.

Cons: Is younger, has a Pete Campbell Seductiveness, and is a Trust Fund Kid.

Giles comes from a long line of “Most Eligible Bachelors,” as he was bred to be a Gentlemen and is very experienced in the ways of the world. I am pretty sure his ancestors invented chivalry, because apparently his Great Great Grandfather also  invented Love Potion No. 9. Giles’ family is so interesting that there is even a documentary about them and their family business at Bergdorf Goodman. The list could go on and on. He owns so many bragging rights—yet Giles is modest, unpretentious and thoughtful. In addition to the fact that Giles has many tales to tell, he is also well-disciplined in the art of active listening (perhaps this why he is such a great storyteller). Although I’ve been charmed, Giles’ playboy legacy will supersede all other redeeming qualities that would make him a potential catch. However…he is hard to resist.

Nighty-Night.

One Hot Summer Night…

She Was Happy To See Me.

Wide-Eyed At A Birthday Party.

He Was Watching The Door.

Miss. This. Face.

 Couldn’t Believe Their Eyes.

Bellicose Babes,

 Bacchus Boys,

Warriors In Lace,

And Beer Suckling Boy Scouts,

All Sinking On His Ship.

Shiver Me Timbers.

Tom’s Modern Bromance.

Bold & Beautiful,

 Saucy Like A Tomato.

Stars and Scrappers,

Raise A Flag,

Follow Her Lead,

Feel It,

 And Let Yourself Go.

Yé-yé.


Careful What You Say,

Loose Lips Sink Ships.

Hotter Than A Heatwave.

 My Wild Bore,

Puts Me In The Spotlight.

Found My Rizzo.

DONE.

song by CROCODILES

My Date with A Mad Man

Meet Tony

Location: NYC.

Origin: Taiwan.

Occupation: Ad Man.

Hobbies: Eating and traveling.

How We Met: Tony and I met at my birthday party at Hanson Dry.

Interesting Facts: Tony is a newbie to the city and cannot watch horror flicks in cinemas as he is prone to loud screaming during pivotal scenes.

Madison Square Park

It was my first date with a real Ad Man and I was absolutely thrilled at Tony’s willingness to indulge me in my Mad Men infatuation. Being the clever devil he is, Tony befittingly suggested we meet at Madison Square Park. Tony was right on time, and equipped with enough cigarettes to get us through an entire Sterling Cooper office party. In addition to Mad Men, Tony and I also share an interest in photography and he really embraced this aspect on our date. As we walked together through the park, Tony captured many of his own moments with an iPhone as impromptu photo opps were everywhere! We photographed each other, Asian Tourist style, posing with Echo, Jaume Plensa’s giant head sculpture. After we left the park, I slipped into a mannequin bust that was left on the street, and Tony and I found a very cool photography installation on Park Avenue where a camera projected our photo onto a large glass wall. This was just the start of our date and we had already stumbled upon so much fun! Tony’s plan was to take me to see Fuerza Bruta so we had a quick glass of Prosecco at a neighboring bar before the show started. I could hardly wait.

My New Bust!

  Photography on Photography

Deep in Thought

Posing with my Cans

The Date

Fuerza Bruta didn’t exactly fit into our Mad Men theme but I really appreciated Tony choosing to share this experience with me. The show was visually striking with such incredible lighting and Tony and I were like a couple of kids in a candy store with cameras in hand. We were having such a great time… until I started to notice things. Tony was REALLY photographing the show, and while glued to his iPhone, he managed to out photograph me! Was I being petty? Does it really have to be all about me and my camera? I decided to let it go and to just enjoy myself… when I began to detect other women’s interest in MY date. Tony is a good looking guy, handsome in fact and these man hunters were after my prize! Before I knew it, Tony was whisked away into their hen huddle on the other side of the dance floor, and officially appointed as their event photographer. My mouth was hanging open in disbelief, the only thing I could do was bust Tony for his full on “Don Draper Action.”

What Would Don Do?

What Would Betty Do?

iFoto

Busted!

Enjoying The Show

Holla Back

Later That Night

Tony is a total chick magnet and I knew I had to act fast. In a desperate attempt to put the attention back onto myself, I suggested we do Karaoke at One 7.  My strategy was to woo Tony with a carefully selected serenade in a half-empty, dimly lit bar (“Dork” Deduction Points). I don’t think I could have suggested anything more lame. Tony was really cool about it and even though he can’t carry a tune to save his life, he dived in fearlessly with a Beatles song. I was really impressed with his courage and “try anything” mentality. Tony, through choosing his own carefully selected serenade, saved my grace.

Karaoke Champion

The Conclusion

Pros: Is handsome, creative, and open to new experiences.

Cons: Is handsome, prone to Don Draper-isms, and is an iPhone addict.

Tony is adventurous, open-minded and classy. He has quite the eye and makes very good aesthetic choices, from the food he eats to the photos he takes. He is quite a catch… perhaps too fetching as he certainly attracts a lot of attention. He’s a sly fox in a meadow full of bright-eyed, bushy-tailed does. We talked about possibly grabbing lunch one afternoon around Madison Avenue…oh what would Betty Draper do?


TTYL

If I Stay Too Long– My Date with Jon

Meet Jon

Location: Brooklyn, NY

Origin: Flushing, Queens

Occupation: Movie Production (Dark Knight Rises)

Hobbies: Making stuff with his hands, installing chandeliers, and going on “Safari Adventures” in art museums.

How We Met: Jon and I were introduced at a mutual friend’s going away party.

Interesting Facts: Jon does EVERYTHING: photography, film production, music, plumbing, and electrical wiring. Jon also directs the Montreal-based sketch comedy troupe Uncalled For.

The Date

What’s immediately impressive about Jon is his attention to detail. Jon did his research and took the time to inquire about my interests before planning our date. After supplying Jon with a laundry list of my likes and dislikes, I was 100% sure I was in good hands. We met at Kellogg’s diner and took a leisurely stroll around Williamsburg while Jon gave me a mini tour of some really cool graffiti art, including an impressive mural by Shepard Fairy (“Street SmArt” bonus points). In a bold move, Jon suggested Karaoke at The Manhattan Inn, followed by Zebulon to see this singer named Shilpa Ray. Cool as a cucumber, but eager as hell to brag, I casually disclose that I had just gone on a date with Shilpa and am a big fan of her music (“Shilpa Ray” bonus points all around). I don’t know if Shilpa was included in my list of “likes,” but Jon was definitely hitting the nail on the head. We had some time to kill before Karaoke, so I suggested we have a whiskey at Bar Matchless, loosen up, and let the photos rip!

Shades after Dark

Bar Matchless Photo Opp!

Later That Night…

We headed over to The Manhattan Inn but unfortunately Karaoke was not happening (deduction points). However, being the great improvisors we are, Jon and I made the best of the situation. We ordered another drink, found a cozy nook in the corner, and expanded further on our likes and dislikes; all the while discovering how much we have in common. For instance, Jon appreciates pork, David Lynch, sketch comedy, and wearing shades after dark. When I found out that Jon also shares a similar aversion to dumbed-down Bromance flicks like The Hangover, I was absolutely over the edge. I could hardly believe my luck! We spent most of the night Laughing Out Loud because Jon is funny AND he gets my jokes. As we finished our drinks, Jon took notice of my nail polish color (“Attention to Detail” bonus points). Compliments are tricky because if not executed properly, they can have an adverse effect on your date but Jon was noticing all the right things. It was all too good to be true…could this be the end of my dating blog??

“Karaoke Bust” deduction points.

Classic Upside Down Book Gag

One Drink Becomes Two…

Fixing up and Enjoying A Smoke

Much Much Later…

It was time to make our next move. Jon suggested we stop by a taco truck on the way to Zebulon and grab a quick bite but when we arrived, there was no taco truck in sight (“Taco Tease” deduction points). We finally arrive at Zebulon only to discover that we also missed Shilpa’s set, which included a performance art piece in which Shilpa ripped up her student loans in protest. That was a major bummer. I was just about to start tallying up all of Jon’s “Missed the Boat” deduction points, when I realized how late it was— Jon and I had completely lost track of time. No wonder everything was closing up, it was way past our bedtime. We were having so much fun making up the date as we went along that we had no idea the night just slipped right past us. This is the sign of a good date.

Foraging!

Sidewalk Garden Fun

Cigarettes and Flowers:

A Modern Romance

The Conclusion

Pros: Jon is super fun, we share a lot in common, and he gets my jokes.

Cons: He’s always traveling and/or working, and is younger than me.

Jon is kool, plain and simple. The ability to improvise on the spot and to make the most of any situation is a valuable trait and Jon embraces spontaneity very well. He’s a stand-up guy who takes the time when you give him your time, which after all is the most sacred commodity we possess. I hope that his overbearing schedule eases up as it would be fun to lose more time on our next excursion— a safari trip to the Natural History Museum.

Just Look at This Guy!

G’Night!

Thee Oh Sees Remix by Al Lover

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